I LOVE my DIET (not)

OK, I need to be completely honest...on this Valentine's day when people are confessing their love for one another...or wishing they could or would, I need to tell you that I'm not feeling a lot of love for my diet these days.

As a matter of fact, last night I nearly left it...walked away...said it was too hard...she could keep the beans, 1/4 measuring cup, and all the veggies she wanted. I was tired of the constant trying to make this relationship work or giving up my wants and desires for her. Why does she get her own way anyway?!

But I was reminded by this little voice in the back of my head asking, "John, what do you want? What do you really, ultimately, want?" And the answer to that question kept me from slamming the door, jumping into the car and driving to Dunkin Donuts!

You see, what I REALLY want is to prove to myself (OK, and to you my faithful fans) that I can push my body beyond what I thought possible...to get to a place in my 50s where I don't need to hear the doctor scold me for being over weight. I want to walk on a beach with my wife and not have people think, "how cute of that father and daughter to be walking together!"

So while I may not be IN LOVE with my diet right now....I am COMMITTED to it. And for now that is good enough...it is keeping us together and I know that my emotions will come around, that I will smile about this later and be glad that I didn't let a hard day ruin all the work I've invested.

And on a final note...I love YOU my readers, whoever you may be, I thank you for reading my rantings!

Slogging it Out

Is Slogging a real word? Not sure, but it seems to describe well the feeling around the diet this week. I'm doing the right things, saying so to the foods that would not help me get to my goal, working out...

For example, last night after group we went to Mrs P & me and when my burger showed up I took away the bun, pushed all my fries onto Chris's plate, took his pickle and beans, and said NO to beer. Did I want to eat everything on my plate (those fries really did look good!)? Yes! But if I'm ever to know if it's possible to hit my goal I've got to make these kind of choices! Right!? Please say "right."

So, the bottom line is that I've been eating lots of carrots, beans, and protein. My weight is consistently low 160's and I wonder if I've hit bottom. I've got four weeks to go to my goal date (March 7). I've toyed with changing up the diet, but don't want to mess with the formula yet.

Therefore, I slog on...

The Truth I Don't Want You to Know

Saturday was a sad day for me. Not totally unexpected, but sad nonetheless.

It had been a while since I was in the BodPod and I knew that since my last testing of body fat I had not been as stringent with the diet. I could tell that my clothes weren't as loose as they had been before and that my weight was up from the end of October.

My hope was that I would have at least held where I was...maybe gone up a little bit...but I was not expecting to hear FIFTEEN PERCENT!

What is interesting is that my measurements did not change that much...up an inch in the hips, down three-quarters an inch in the mid-thigh...

What is also interesting is that when we finished using the PodBod we did another body fat measurement tool called a "Skindex" that takes a reading at chest, abdomen and thigh to give a composite body fat score. Using that measurement I had 13.8% body fat. I REALLY like that measurement much better!

	10/29/2011	2/4/2012
weight	160 lbs	163 lbs
mid bi	13.25	13.25
waist	33.5	33.5
hips	37.5	38.5
mid thigh	21.75	21
% fat	13.8%	15%

While my first reaction was to go drown my sorrow in cinnamon buns, I pulled through and opted for a healtier solution - Peanut butter & Banana French Toast! I've been craving a banna, so I had two on my cheat day...along with OJ. I've never enjoyed fruit so much as on this diet since I only get in once a week.

Lunch consisted of pizza, trail mix, and pumpkin pie (Alex made it in his high school culinary class, so I HAD to try it). Dinner was a favorite - The Stalone Manburger and best ever fries from Jack Staw's. Dessert came later in the evening - icecream and cookies.

Sunday breakfast and lunch was strict diet since I knew that the Superbowl party that was coming was not going to be what I call a modle meal. And it wasn't! What it was...was loads of cheese, chips, dips, beer, pork, meatballs, more cheese, more beer, brownies, icecream, a few more chips...and a bit more dip!

All in all I went up 2.5 pounds for the weekend but I know that I'll drop it plus some this week. I'm prepared with my veggies for the week and am in my final push of this "greeat 12 percent experiment" that I started last August!



And While We're At It...

...we might as well blame this guy as well!

So what's my point in all this blaming? Simply this...that I'm a social eater. If no one is around I'm content not to eat anything, but put some good friends in the mix and have good food on hand and I'm there! So if you'd like to sabotage my goal just invite me over and have food on the table!

I've been trying to learn how I can be with others who are eating (more than me) and eat with them but not have to keep pace or surpass them. So last night at a dinner with three other couples I passed on the rice, rolls, and cookies. I had a generous salad and meat portion instead. I enjoyed their company and the food I had to eat. I didn't obsess over what I "couldn't eat."

After all, it's the people that I'm with that is most important...maybe if I am more centered on them and less on the food I can appreciate our time together. That being said, there is something magical that happens when we break bread together that I wouldn't want to loose. Hmmm, food for thought.